how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im holly from the hills drunk
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
