Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
