woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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