Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
