He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
