You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
