never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
