i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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