So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
