Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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