THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
