I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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