Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
