Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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