Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
