What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
