what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
