Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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