theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
