I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
