So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Say something about gay babies.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
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