About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
