Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Congratulations! We have a period
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
