Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
People in love make me want to vomit
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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