Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
