i permit you to call me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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