sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
