remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
