Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
