3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
