Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
