So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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