Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
