Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
