Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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