I think i peed on brittanys purse
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
