She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
