You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
