So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
