Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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