He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Enjoy the penises
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I came so hard my ears popped.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
