am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
