I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
