i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
one might say we're banned from that church
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
