There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
