He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
