wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My bed smells like the plague
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
