dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
