at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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