Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm bleeding and have questions
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
