yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
